These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright Policy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.
I was able to get some free time away from home and went to visit one of my friends. When I arrived another friend of my friend was there also. They were smoking wax and asked if I wanted to smoke and so I took a hit. I’ve tried wax once before and experienced anxiety and really didn't care for it. After taking a hit, I sat back down and took a few sips from my beer. I started feeling hot and then my hearing started to close. I knew I was in trouble but didn't let anyone know. I knew my friends were talking but I couldn't hear them. I could see their mouths moving through my blurry vision which was getting worse with each second. All while keeping how I was feeling to myself because I didn't want to ruin their high.
As my energy is getting weaker, my friend looks at me and I said I don't feel good. My friend told me to go lay down on the bed. I remember thinking I'm not going to make it but didn't tell them that and so I stood up, went to step towards the room and that's all I remember doing in my physical body at that time. My friends later told me that I got up and fell straight back with my knees bent and legs underneath my body.
I knew I came out my body but didn't see myself come out. I was in the light. I was one with the light. Many faces were coming up to me very quickly and saying hi,hi,hi.......I knew I knew them but couldn't make out exactly who they were. The feeling of unconditional love and acceptance was felt; no judgment, only pure love. Then I heard and felt the words, “it's not time. You need to go back.” And I didn't want to leave; my spirit was fighting it. It felt like I was going down, but I feel it was just me feeling my spirit go back into my body. I could see my energy body going back into my physical body and then I'd get the urge of transcending up wanting to go back.
I kept telling my energy body, “you need to stay in your body, it's not time, you can't go back yet." So finally, it stayed and I came back crying and saying over and over I don't want to come back. My friends filled me in on what they saw and heard with me being out of my body and they looked like they saw a ghost. Lol!
Even now almost 15 years later, hardly a day goes by that I don’t think about my experience of going to the other side during surgery. I’m frustrated and I have been searching for answers.
I was devastated when my father passed away and grieved his death for at least two years. During this time, I started having thyroid problems and found out I had a follicular cell tumor. It was a struggle to get good medical care and I remember when I finally went to the hospital for the surgery, I was lying on the table and the last thing I remember seeing was my female doctor looking over my face. And I remember thinking that I was surprised to see her because it was Dr. Kaplan who is doing the surgery. I found out later she was shocked that I knew she was in the surgery room. I guess she was just watching or observing because she said I should’ve been completely out by the time she got into the surgery room.
What I remember about leaving my body was that I found myself in this space that was enveloped with white soft light. I felt like it was a room but there were no walls or floor. There was this table and it had a chess game board set up on it. It seemed like a long banquet table. There was some being in my left periphery but it was like I couldn’t see who was there and I couldn’t move my head and I don’t remember that I even tried to move my head. I just knew it was not going to work looking at this beach but I could see out of my right eye. I remember arriving to this space heavy hearted and weary, feeling like I had just finished a long journey.
One of the most frustrating things is I can’t remember the full conversation. I know it was clear when I woke up on the gurney table but it faded and only certain parts stand out. I remember this being asking me about my young daughter who I loved with all my heart. This seems to be the beginning of the conversation because I felt like I didn’t want to go back. I felt like I had done enough and I could leave and I was being asked about my daughter. I remember saying that she had a really good father and for some reason I felt that that would’ve been enough for her. She was closer to her dad than she was to me.
And from there I know other issues were discussed. But the part of the discussion that stood out in my mind was being told me there was going to be another baby but I didn’t associate that for myself. I thought that would be something in our family. I remember this discussion made me feel maternal and the kind of feelings of love for your child and at that point once those feelings were restored in me that’s when I was sent back.
The next thing I knew I was gasping for air and I sat up on the gurney table. I was in the recovery room and all the tubes and IVs and things had been taken out of me and my table was pushed up against the wall. I felt hot all over and tried to talk because I had to pee. Dr. Kaplan, who had done my surgery, was nearby and came running over. He was trying to get me a bed pan or something but I ended up peeing all over myself. This was very strange to just be pushed off on a table like that.
I was disorientated and I think I was talking about where I had just been, you know kind of like how somebody would say, oh I just came from that store over there and I was talking to someone. Dr. Kaplan was not interested. They got me moved into a regular hospital bed and room. My skin felt like it was burning. I remember it felt like every nerve in my body was shaking, like my spiritual being could not adjust to living in this frequency zone. I got out of bed and tried to splash water on my face and wipe water on my arms and legs because I just felt like I was on fire everywhere. I remember feeling like I was tricked into wanting to come back to this place like this being got me to think about a happy moment for a second which enabled my path back to my body but really, I was back in hell.
The doctor told me people don’t act like this after they have thyroid surgery and my female doctor sent me to talk to a therapist but luckily, I had a good therapist and we worked on some of the things that had surfaced from the stress of my surgery. I kept thinking that who I had talked to must’ve been a good being, but she said we don’t know that. Things were OK for a while but then they got much worse.
The anxiety experience was at a level I had never dreamed possible. I had to walk around in circles in my house just to wear myself out and try not to think. I had several visits from the other side; on some occasions I heard angelic music and I could feel a presence nearby that comforted me.
One of the most perplexing experiences was seeing letters spelled out to me while I was asleep or in some kind of sleeping state and letters were spelled out one at a time and it was the word Grayson. I don’t recall ever hearing or seeing this word before but ever since then I see that word quite frequently and I’ve always wondered what it meant. That’s why when I was looking on YouTube and I saw the near-death experience videos I went to this website. [Bruce Greyson was one of the founders of IANDS.]
Time moves forward and the husband that I thought I was married to was not the person that I thought he was. He was such an interesting and intuitive person and I thought very highly of him. He always knew things before they happened and I thought he had my best interest at heart and I thought he was a good father. He’s the kind of person that can hold a compass and it would spin in circles and he couldn’t wear a wrist watch because the watch would stop within a few hours; he just had this electrical essence about him. In 2007 my daughter Zoey was born and we seemed like a happy family.
In 2010 my husband started letting me in on more things that were happening I guess in his head. He told me that he communicates with this blue light and he called it blue dude and that’s the entity that gave him a lot of information and he always talked about how it all worked with this point system. He even Took pictures of me and my oldest daughter with lights around our head and a whole bunch of other pictures of lights that he was able to photograph. He said it’s how energies move around, that they are entities and they call it riding the light. I was very interested in all of this but it turned very dark.
There is so much I don’t understand I don’t understand why this happened to me what I’m supposed to be learning from it and what I’m supposed to be doing but I do know I feel like I’m failing miserably. There is so much injustice and horrible things have happened to my children.
I wish so much I could get back to that space and sit back down at that table and give that being a piece of my mind because if I was sent back to do something I’m supposed to do, I’m going to need some more help.
well to whoever is reading this there is no capping in this i was not religious at all i believed we all were going to get buried and that was the end to us I was wrong and here’s why so one day i was being an idiot and i slashed some of my neighbors tires and i got caught by the bitch ass police sorry for swearing and he had to take me to shelter care but he forgot to search me for stuff and i had xans on me. And we all know it’s boring in shelter care so i took all the xans that day right and i went to sleep my friend jonathan which im still good buddies with will tell u he walked in to the room and i was foaming up and he said my eyes rolled to the back of my head so he went to go get help its good that he did otherwise i would be dead
but the next thing that happened was crazy i woke up in my body but it felt different i could see everything around me i seen the earth below me and thats when i was scared i was thinking like wtf im doing in space I LOOK DOWN IM NAKED bro got no clothes on i look around for some light like the sun but there was no sun just stars and then i seen a square light and started getting closer to it and as i got towards i felt like super happiness it felt better than pussie and drugs and i heard like light singing like all kinda very peaceful and then as im about to get into the light something wouldnt let me thru i was mad i tried to push thru and then i heard its not your time
i woke up in my body 3 days after i coded all handcuffed to the hospital bed i was mad when i woke up cuz i always wanted to die with no pain and i didnt feel no pain when i coded so when i got back to shelter care i asked if i could talk to my family cause they didnt let them see me in the hospital which pissed me off cause i could of died and i wanted to tell my sister what i saw so i ran away from shelter care and that is my near death experience and also i went to libertas treatment center and their asian priest guy said i seen the cube of drullisium which is the last few pages of the bible and the cube is known as heaven i would like to say to the people who are reading this is that nothing i said was a lie and thats on phonummmm ,also im leave u with a question what do u think is in the light?
Seven years ago, I was experiencing stress and anxiety at work, coupled with the effects of having to go into full time work instead of being able to participate in a schedule of voluntary work which I had done for the past 2 years. I was lying in bed when I felt short of breath and started to hyperventilate. I felt my heart and breathing stop and lost consciousness.
It felt that I was falling through different levels of consciousness which you encounter during sleep, with an intense feeling of love and calmness descending on me, the more I fell through each level of consciousness. This feeling of love, calmness and serenity continued to grow in intensity until I reached a place where my paternal grandmother was sitting at a table in the dining room at my parents’ house surrounded by a beautiful orange, purple and red light whilst a calming, otherworldly white noise sound was emanating from all around. We did not talk, but telepathically communicated to each other a feeling of unconditional love, mixed with a feeling of "not to worry." She appeared to be grinning, as if at peace and very happy.
At this point I felt my heart and breath restart, and I regained consciousness.
When I was 13, I was living in a world of torment after being diagnosed with epilepsy since I was 11 and having up to 6 tonic-clonic seizures every day. On top of that, our family had recently fallen apart with mum and dad’s divorce and our family moving around a lot because of such.
It was a Saturday afternoon in Taupo, New Zealand. Our family were splashing around having a swim at the Taupo BC Public pools. I remember talking to a friend in the pool, then my epilepsy auras quickly took over and I had a tonic-clonic seizure immediately. I had no time to get myself out. As normal during seizures, my memory was blacked out. But I do recall physically changing from a physical state of extreme panic and anxiety, gasping for life while drowning – to an immediate trance of being pain-free, detached from the pain that I was experiencing.
It felt like a physical and spiritual transition where I was approximately 20 feet above everyone in spirit. There were approximately 20 people that were crowded watching the life saver resuscitate me while I was on the concrete ground out of the pool. I spiritually felt relief while I was looking down and definitely felt like continuing my journey into the spiritual world. But I felt a force and presence of another spirit urging me to go back to earth, my time was not yet up. I was briefly wrestling with that spirit as I didn’t want to return back to my body. But I was forced back and all I could recall was coughing up water after my spirit reunited with my body.
Having experienced a seizure as well as drowning, my memory was not extremely vivid but I do recall how much pain I was in, especially short breath and panic breathing. Then vividly being taken away in an ambulance. My recovery was a mix of ongoing seizures while I was in hospital until I was back at home recovering with my mother around.
From that experience, I developed an extreme phobia for beaches, pools, and baths. It was a daily battle even having showers for a while. I was banned from swimming sports at high school and also cross country sports – which was totally fine with myself. To this day, whilst I have become very sensitive to all my feelings, I accept that.
My 2nd NDE was when I was 17 during the Christmas holiday period in 1995, I was doing volunteer work at Kiwi Ranch Youth Camp grounds in Rotorua New Zealand. Approximately 100 of us were attending the fun Luge adventure park rides in Rotorua. At that time, my epilepsy seizures were controlled with medications so I was taking the risk of doing different activities that I used to be restricted from doing. I recall doing a flying fox with all my safety mechanisms in place. There were approximately 10 different rides from one stop to another – like zig-zag rides.
Even after the first ride, I struggled to make it to the end, as the ride kept slowing down each time. By the time it came to my 3rd ride down, I was barely reaching the end of the ride to jump off and there was no ground underneath me. I started to extremely panic as I had no energy to hold onto the ride for so long. I had to struggle to wriggle myself down to where I could safely stand with ground underneath me – approximately 10 metres away from me. But I wasn’t moving and felt like I was struggling to hold on, so much that I had to let go and started suffocating while dangling from the flying fox safety belt. I was losing consciousness fast while I was severely panicking about dying from suffocation. I was coming in and out of consciousness, but vividly recall a teenage boy jumping onto the side of a cliff close by to me and reaching out to me with a long stick. I barely had any energy at all. But what I did have, I held onto that stick fast and was pulled down where he loosened my safety belt and I floated in and out of consciousness. Any seconds later, hanging on the flying fox, I would have died. He was my teenage hero and was only 17! I was lifted to the First Aid room and then to the hospital where I recovered from that experience.
My 3rd NDE was when I was 19 in 1997. I was doing my late night studies for university when a sudden severe pain came upon me from my left abdomen area and I was raced to Waikato Hospital, New Zealand. According to a female, it was as painful as giving birth to a baby. The world was in commotion with the severity of my pains. I was screaming tears of agony. While I was in a hospital lift on a hospital bed with an emergency bed, I recall a quick blackout happened as pain got so severe.
All I recall the next day is slowly opening my eyes on a life machine and doctors shining a light into my eyes. I couldn’t hear anything they were saying at first. I can’t recall which day later they told me this, but I was informed that I died from having a ruptured appendix burst which triggered off a seizure during that experience. They had to rush me to the emergency room to do CPR to recover me, then on a life machine once they tracked my heart beat again. I can’t even remember which doctor told me those words as my memory was very vague and I don’t recall any memory of the spirit life experience. I stayed in hospital for 7 days before returning home and sleeping mostly, while taking pain relievers. It was a slow journey upwards, but I vividly still remember that experience, especially the pain.
I have come to learn from these experiences that there’s a purpose as to why I’m still alive. A few decades later I am a solo mother with one child, having studied 3 college degrees, and running my own 2 businesses. These experiences taught me a lot about having empathy and having a passion to pay it forward and share my lived experiences with other people.
I won’t deny that suicidal ideation has crossed my mind a lot having experienced these traumas. But I also look at these experiences as big learning experiences. I am not afraid of dying again. These experiences have given me a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging, a sense of love. In NZ Māori, we have common quotes, whakatauki, and one of my favourite quotes is: He aha te mea nui o te ao? He tangata, he tangata, he tangata – What is the most important thing in this world? The people, the people, the people.
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