In April 2017, I was preparing to drive roughly 7 hours to my prior state of residence to get tattooed by my tattoo artist. It was the day Gorillaz tickets went on sale, and I bought myself a VIP ticket to their tour. That's one of the last memories I can trust as having happened. I remember loading the car and hitting the road with my dog around noon. I remember driving north across the state border and seeing a sign with the number of road fatalities so far that year. That was Friday.

My next trustworthy memory is being back in my body Sunday afternoon. I don't like to say I "woke up" because my body was already awake - it was more like I was back in my body after stepping away from it. I knew I was in a hospital, and I read the signs that said "Neurovascular ICU."

I later found out something caused my vehicle to lose control and spin (some bystanders mentioned a dog in the road, however, my dog fell out of the car during the accident so it's unclear if there was another dog) (my car was too damaged to show any evidence of being clipped by another vehicle). I spun into the center guardrail and my car rolled 3 times over the median into oncoming traffic on the southbound side of the interstate. I later saw a photo on Facebook from the vehicle closest to me, and they stopped merely 20 feet from where I had come to rest. Bystanders told me it was okay and an ambulance was on the way. I'm told I responded that I did not need an ambulance (which makes me laugh because I had as much blood on me as Stephen King's Carrie).

I did not break any bones, however I suffered a subdural hematoma and a subarachnoid hemorrhage. I had stitches in my scalp and my lip.  I had to walk with a cane in the days following the accident. I remember at first, the only emotion my brain could make was anger. It used to make me mad when people told me I was so lucky to survive - it was not lucky to get in an accident or have a brain injury!

My dog was missing for about a week, but we were reunited the following Friday. I thought she had lost a lot of weight, but the vet said she gained five pounds! She had just gotten buff. She and I have been closer than ever since that experience.

Overall, it was a profound experience for me. Due to the brain injuries, it was impossible to lay down new memories during that time. I think that's why I don't remember more mystical details about where I went while I was out of my body (I would imagine that contributes to the lower occurrence overall of NDEs with brain injuries). I can remember the feelings - the deepest calm I've ever felt, stemming from a sense of understanding and accepting the entire universe.

I have amnesia about the incident itself. I am not aware of any memory loss from before the accident, however those memories are qualitatively different somehow now. I can see them but like old save files in a video game that I can't play. My consciousness was reset, and my new self recently turned seven and a half. I am the same person and I feel my personality has stayed constant, but my perspective has expanded. I feel more connected to everything around me, and it's hard to be invested in the unimportant things society at large values (ie, the "rat race"). I also feel more spacious inside - like my inner life is no longer limited by my physical body. The entire universe is inside and out.

I've had one family member say I am a completely different person now, but I think they are just struggling with my boundary-setting. I am no longer available to them like before the accident - something I do purposely to protect myself. No one else has noticed a difference.

I think about the experience often, and it is easily one of the defining moments of my life. Few events divided my life into before and after, and this is the biggest and most impactful one.