I was 10 days overdue on my due date to have my baby and nothing was progressing. My doctor scheduled me for that next morning and they started me on Pitocin to induce labor. I was doing fine at first, then the pain was getting worse so they gave me an epidural block. I was doing fine with that for most of the day, but was not progressing much with dilation. My doctor was starting to tell me I probably was going to have a C-section. I was not happy with that.
Later that early evening I was just sitting there because I could not move. I was numb from the waist down. The anesthetist came in and gave me another dose in my catheter and said he had to go to the next room, that a lady was in labor, and left fast. This was a small community hospital that had only two birthing rooms.
My husband at the time was in the room with me and went out the door at the same time to go get a drink at the machine outside the door. Right when he left i started to taste a real strong metallic taste, like I had a mouth full of pennies. He walked back in and I was able to say to him, “My mouth feels funny and I taste metal.” Then instantly I was numb everywhere and could not breathe. My husband ran out, I could not get up, and I was trapped and could not move. I was struggling to get any air in.
I did not feel when I left my body, but I knew I was not in it. I was to the upper right-hand side of my body. Everything in the room I could see all at once. I watched the nurse grab my head, holding my eyes open, yelling at me, “Don't go, don't go, Lori, don't go.” I saw the code blue flashing over the door and I could hear it. I saw people rushing around, bringing a cart in, and working on me.
But, as I’m watching everything going on in the room, my first thought was: I did not understand why the nurse did not want me to go because I felt I was in such peace, it was amazing. And as she was doing that, I was starting to feel a pull and a warmth on the right side of me. I wanted the nurse to know I was okay and I was in an amazing peace (so amazing), but I couldn't. As I watched the room, I did not care any more about it, or even that I had a baby in that body, but my full attention went to this warmth and light I was being drawn to.
The light was amazing and I felt more and more being pulled towards it and in it. What I have told some people is that it is like looking directly into the sun but it doesn't hurt your eyes because you’re not in your body. The warmth on my face (but yet I was not in my body) was amazing. At that moment I knew who I was and what I was...and when I talk to anyone about this, the only thing that makes me cry is when I say, "I Felt Like I Was Home.” The most incredible feeling of being home and of pure love.
I woke up in surgery and they had taken my baby C-section. Because it was an emergency, they left a gauze in me and weeks later had to go through more surgeries, and I was very sick with infection for a long, long time.
Forty years ago, I never had heard of what I had experienced. I did not tell anyone about it. I was having major panic issues, health issues, but it was always on my mind and what I saw and how I felt. I was extremely angry that I had to come back, for years and years. Sometimes, even now.
That first year after some of the fix-up surgeries, I went to seek help. I was going for months always knowing what I saw, but too afraid to say anything because I thought they might put me away, like I was crazy, so I kept suffering in silence. Until one day my therapist promised me I’m safe and I told him. He smiled and reached into his book case and handed me two books, Life After Life, and Return From Tomorrow, which I still have to this day. He also had me call the nurse that held my eyes and tell her what I saw, so I did. She did return my call and she told me that what I saw was exactly how it happened. She also told me she knew I was not in my body. These people were such angels to me.
Although it took a lot of physical and mental healing for many, many, many years, I now feel blessed and honored to have gone through this. And I hope that when I have had loved ones that have passed that my experience gave them some peace and not fear. I now believe we must honor the life God gave us, no matter what we go through.